I MUST HAVE CHILI NOW!!!

I am certifiably crazy! It's 1am and I woke my hubby up to ask where the hell the chili I made today was.... There's more to the story! (there's always more to the story)

I woke up with the worst migraine I've had in a while. Some I can muscle through and take meds and pretend I'm still a functioning member of society. Not this one! This was a flat on back migraine. This was a curl up in a ball crying your eyes out because all of the drugs just got laughed at by your migraine type of  headache... but it did have it's ebb and flow. So in one of my more "well" moments I decided I absolutely wanted chili for dinner, not my brightest idea I know but when you're hopped up on goofballs sanity isn't your strongsuit!

So I went downstairs to make chili... I was doing great had it all spiced and just needed it to simmer when the WAVE OF TOTAL NAUSEA hit me like a mack truck. Now from years of experience I know I have two choices.... I can either lie down RIGHT NOW or I can throw up. I chose the first option. I shut off the stove (I'm not a total idiot) and made sure Evan was happily unable to tear the house apart and went to bed.

After Matt got home I gave him instructions to simmer the chili and when I was feeling a bit better I asked him to bring me some and I stayed in bed for the rest of the day. Well I never was able to eat more than a bite or two. But the little bit I had was so yummy (if I do say so myself!) Well at 1 am my migraine broke and I woke up STARVING! So I stumbled down into the kitchen looking for the chili....

And I couldn't find it! Now I know Matt can eat.... but there's no way that he could eat an entire pot of chili in one night!! I checked the fridge, nope, the freezer, NOPE!!! So I woke Matt up. It's in the garage freezer WHY??????  So at 1:30am I am defrosting chili to satisfy a craving that I had a 2pm... Yes I am that crazy.

Beware Of Declarative Statements!

Every time I think that I wouldn't be "that MOM!" I have to stop and think... I've said that before. And something has always come up where I've had to make an exception to that rule. You're at the store and shopping and it's late. Later than you think kids should be awake. And you think I'd never let my child stay up till 10pm! Until you've been there... and your child has been sick for the last week and suddenly his sleep schedule is so far off he doesn't even know there's a sun... so he's up at 10pm. Not because you're a bad parent. But because you're trying to get his sleep cycle back to normal... But in that one snapshot at the store all anyone can see is a child up riding on the cart begging you to buy them fruitsnacks! And they judge "How dare they keep that child awake! That child should be home in BED!"

I've done it... I did it a whole lot more before I had kids. I made declarative statements to my parents when I was in my teens... "when I'm a parent I'm gonna let my kids stay have a 3am curfew! Just you wait and see!" My parents just shook their heads and nodded sagely. OK we'll see and we'll be so sorry that we didn't let you run around and get into trouble!" I'm sure they went to bed giggling to themselves more than once... Want to know how I know. I do it now with my two boys. Ian tells me when he's grown up he'll get to do whatever he wants! Those are the nights I go to bed giggling to myself because I know that when he actually gets to that stage of his life... he'll see why I've made the decisions I have and he'll send his little kids to bed at a decent hour.... whenever possible!

The Rest Of The Directions!

Have you ever been watching one of those cool cooking shows? I happen to love them and one of the hosts says something like "Here's an easy tip for you.... Just pop your cake into the freezer and the crumbs won't be a problem!" in one of those ultra perky voices. Yeah you know those ones that I'm talking about!

HOWEVER what they don't tell you is so much! Because then they continue on in that same perky voice... "for more tips check out our website at youcandoitifyoucan'tthenyou'reatotaldweeb.com (not a real site BTW) Where I'm assuming that they actually put the whole instructions on the site... but who actually looks. I know I don't.

So I was making my son's 6th birthday cake. It was a super cool superhero themed cake and I wanted to have his favorite superhero scaling a building. To do that I had to make a building.... Which is not that easy with cake. So I took two loaf pans and put them together and then cut the sides down... but I knew if I just iced them that I would have crumb city... So I remembered the freezing trick. I stuck it in the freezer over night. This should be easy-peasy right? Just like every cake baker on food show has proclaimed. WRONG!!!! What they don't tell you is this: Frozen cake makes for frozen frosting. You have a limited amount of time from the time you slap that frosting onto the cake to the time that it hardens up from the cake freezing it! That means you can't help your son with his homework, you can't answer the phone and heaven forbid you have to pee before that thing is 100% perfectly smooth!

Eventually I got it all... I cheated. I heated the frosting to a near boiling point and prayed that it didn't condense when it came in contact with the cake. Slapped it on and worked very quickly. So next time I'll know. And I'm sure I'll make some other dumb mistake but hopefully it won't be this one. I'm getting better each time.

That's NOT Love!

I was driving and a song came on the radio, something about a guy crooning about how he would Catch a grenade for love but the girl wouldn't do anything like that for him. Here's the video if you haven't heard the song.



Now I don't know about most women, but I know that isn't my definiton of love. Yeah grand gestures are great and all but they don't cut it in the end. A grand gesture isn't going to make a relationship work in the long run. They look great in the movies right before they cut to the credits but what happens after the couple kiss? After you "jump in front of a train" who's there to change the children's diapers? Wake up with the kids in the middle of the night? Be there day in day out working 9-5 to make sure the bills are paid and there is food on the table? That to me is REAL LOVE. That's is my defintion of a the real deal. Stay by my side for 10 plus years and put up with my mood swings and that'll show a lot more courage than "catching a grenade for me".

So thank you to my dear husband for sticking with me and putting up with my mood swings for the last 10 yrs or so. And for continually making everyday small gestures like the cups of coffee that you bring to me while I take a shower (with a lid so it won't get wet) And getting up with the kids in the morning because you know I'm not a morning person. That means more to me than anything. I love you.

Pulling My Hair Out!

Dear Herbal Essences,

I'm very disappointed in your latest business practice. I've been buying your Hello Hydration shampoo and conditioner for about 3 yrs now and have RAVED about it! I've told my friends and extolled the virtues of your product. I've also stocked every bathroom in my house with your product. But no more. Now I have to find a new shampoo and conditioner :( When you switched to the new labels I got a little concerned. But I bought 2 bottles and found that the product hadn't changed. Well apparently you were only finishing off the last of the old stuff because when I cracked open this new bottles of both shampoo and conditioner today was I disappointed!

The once familiar smell of coconuts was replaced with that of crayons! Then when I looked at the bubbles that the shampoo made instead of being a rich lather of white lather... the bubbles had an eerie blue tint. Almost like you had to add an extra dye to the product that stayed after it lathered up. But I used it and it did it's job. I wasn't thrilled but I could live with it. No so much with the smell, because I have small boys and the shower is the only time I get away from the smell of crayons but I could cope if the product still worked.

Until I used the conditioner. I have very thin hair that knots and tangles very easily. I have tried a lot of products that have left me unhappy that either don't work, or that cost an arm and a leg. So I have happily bought your Hello Hydration conditioner for at least 3 yrs because I've not only enjoyed the scent, but it's actually WORKED! Now it doesn't do either! The coconut and orchid that is claimed to be on the front of the bottle is no where in the scent... and I spent about 10 minutes trying to get the tangles out of my hair.

So I guess my question to you is... was it really worth it to lose your loyal fan base? Do you have any plans to change your formula back? Because of your actions I will forced to find be find a new shampoo and conditioner.

Your Once Very Loyal Customer,
Kim Holbert

Talk To Me Doc!

Have you ever walked out of your Doc's office more confused than when you walked in? Happens to me all the time. I've been to hundreds of doctors, all shapes, genders, ages, race, and it always happens. They give you an exam, diagnose your condition using technical terms, write a prescription; then walk you to the front desk for a follow up appointment. HUH? What just happened? Do you remember the name of the condition? Sure it's easy if it's something you've heard of before... high blood pressure, overweight, high cholesterol, migraines, rosacea but what about if its a new one. One that's not got a snazzy new ad on TV? I had that happen to me the other day. It's as if they don't realize that I don't have a medical degree.

I don't have the time or interest to go to 8 yrs of medical school . I really appreciate that they have, don't get me wrong! But when I get diagnosed with something I want to know what it is! I go home (if I can remember the name) and look it up on the internet. I've been in the exam rooms, I know what doctors think of patients who look up info on the internet... I've been there when they mutter comments about "self diagnosing" and "think they can do a better job!" or even the sad head shake and the gentle reminders that you "shouldn't believe everything you read" But what other option do I have? When was the last time your doctor sat down and talked with you about your conditions and potential repercussions? Yeah you know if you don't lose weight you're at risk for a heart attack... But what happens if you skip one of your blood pressure meds? No one has ever explained that to me. I've learned by reading on the internet or by cause and effect. They know... but they don't have time to talk.

Now on the other side of the coin I KNOW they're over worked, underpaid and under appreciated. I'm not trying to start that discussion! I'm just saying that if you want me know what's the right thing to do... have your secretary/assistant send me a hyperlink with good quality info on my condition... or tell me. And if you don't, you can't complain when I look it up by myself. Give me a printout with the do's and don'ts of what I should be doing. WRITE down the NAME of the rash that I have on my arm so I can look it up for myself if it's just cosmetic or not... don't just write me 4 prescriptions and tell me I don't really need them. But here they are anyway, what do I do with those?

I've had some exceptional doctors. In this last year, I've gotten my migraines under control, which is something that hasn't happened in the last 10 yrs. So this is not a criticism of my primary care doctor or any one doctor. But please, help me to help myself!